across the sky

I kiss the moon goodnight
and hope that it can send
even a fraction of my affections
across the oceans
to the place that you are.
the sun rises each morning,
and I wonder if it carries
the light and warmth you can give me,
for just another day to go on
– or am I just a fool?
staring at the sky
looking for something more
in the nothing in front of me
a fool who stares at the night sky
to alleviate the loneliness
of the night.

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torment

he thinks
I was blessed with my beauty
to torment him
I think
I was cursed with my beauty
to attract him

heartbreak

it’s so easy for me

to write about the tears spilling from my eyes

and feeling the physical tearing

of my heart ripping apart

because when I do

my mind me takes me back

to the exact moment it happened

I might not remember what exactly

what said or done

word for word

action for action

but I remember the feeling

and it’s just as fresh as it was the day it happened

free

that feeling,
as I lie in the grass,
the morning’s dew in my hair
staring at the sky
my hair tangled in the earth
and my mind in the clouds
I could be floating
above it all
free.

 

happy birthday to my mother ❤

hopeless

 

I rest a needle against my chest
willing myself to push it down
and pierce my heart
plunging me from one darkness to the unknown.

sixteen years alive,
sixteen years too long.
a body no longer my own,
sullied and tainted by words and thoughts

a person once, now gone
a shell remaining
living, but not by choice
dead in one sense, alive in another

waves beat gently on the shore
venturing in and out on the sand
similarly, I fade in and out of reality
confusing what is real and what’s not

how much longer do I have to go on